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Ranty rants. There are A Lot of things I really, really, really don’t like about where we live. The highlights lately are: having a stink bug fall from the ceiling and land 3 inches from my dinner plate so I could watch it in its death throes. Finding a slug on my sofa a few minutes ago. Lest you think I am a terribly filthy person, someone with no housekeeping skills whatsoever, let me assure you that I am not. My mother was a terrible housekeeper, therefore I am fastidious. To the point of fanatical almost.

I keep telling The Colonel this place is too much for us. Which he acknowledges. But he wants to make so many “improvements” before we even try to sell it. I’m worried about 2 things. 1. He will have *another* heart attack and die leaving me with all this. And 2. How many investments will be necessary until the point of diminishing returns? Really, where is the point where improvements are smart and will we be able to sell this mess for what it’s worth? It’s actually worth quite a lot now, unimproved.

::SIGH::
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I’t took a long, loooonng time to get proper diagnosis for all my mental sh*t, because in part, I think it’s all mostly mild. But combined, the borderline personality disorder, social anxiety, ocd and bipolar can leave not knowing where I’m coming or going occasionally. I so rarely get *really* manic, but when I do it can go one of two ways, self destructive or I clean like a super charged roomba. The last three days I’ve been a cleaning machine, right down to q-tips, and tooth brushes to get every little crack taken care of. I’m not unhappy about this, clean and organized is nice, but we live in a *cabin* on three scrubby acres and it’s the rainy season in Oregon for Pete’s sake. I just wish I could channel this in more creative (read artistic work).
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Besides the cabin The Colonel built on our property, we have a 40+ year old monstrosity that has been haphazardly added on to. It’s not in really terrible shape, but there was no skilled labor utilized. But it’s enough for family who come to visit. It has a full kitchen. I’ve been using the refrigerator and freezer to store stuff in. I shop meat sales and buy meat in the reduced bin.

So..

This afternoon I repacked 20 pounds of 90% ground beef that I got for less than $3. A pound and took it over. Well guess what? You know it-the whole freezer part is thawed and everything is spoiled. There has to be several hundred dollars worth of chicken, turkey and beef that’s been lost. Thank god this didn’t happen a few years ago when we weren’t getting The Colonel’s disability pay, I would have been totally devastated. It’s still pretty upsetting though.

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August 2023

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