Overreacting?

[otherearths_outthere]

I pretty much wrote off my remaining brothers after the death of my father and older brother. Their behavior when my dad died was especially appalling, and after no-shows for Christmas and thanksgiving, I had enough. So actually thatwas 3 Christmases ago, which makes 2 years of no contact. Anyway, out of the blue “M” texts me yesterday to ask if he can come over. Um. No. He asked me what’s been happening

aannnnnddd. These are the texts

So.
Rufio died in January on his 15th birthday. Huge shock. Randy wanted to wait about a year to get another. Yeah. Right. So about 3 months later, we drive up to the joint airbase to pick up Grrr, a teacup fox Pom. After his final booster shot, he becomes paralyzed in his back legs. The doggo neurologist wants to put him down.

Uh NO. In fact, Hell to the fuck no. So after about 6 weeks of prednisone he is 95% improved, but you know steroids and after dosing down, he was staggering again and falling. We increased his dosage, he does just ok. And when we dosage down again and he’s falling and staggering AGAIN after just 2 days.

That, of course was my text. Do I get any sympathy? A simple,”that’s too bad “ or “oh gee” any acknowledgement at all!
No!! this is the response I get:

Well, I’ve been going to the gym 3+ days a week now since early January, so I have been getting very fit. Except the last 2 weeks have been really hard because of grass allergies that are kicking my butt.

So I’m sorry if I am overreacting. Tell me what you think. Should I delete his contact info?

Comments

[wpadmirer]

Family.

I wouldn't delete it, but I would ignore it. Been there, done that. And have watched Pat go through it, too. Just let it go.

[otherearths_outthere]

Thank you. I appreciate your thoughts. It was just such a shock after 2 years of nothing, and I didn’t get any reaction to the other news I told him. Like I’ve git a couple of paid commissions on my art work. That’s a f-ing great big deal for me. Ah well...

[mific]

Man, that's shitty. I wouldn't lose the contact info completely, but don't engage or expect anything.

And hey, I didn't know that about Grrr. I'm so sorry you've had that huge worry. I do hope he gradually gets better with time. Give him a stroke from me.

[otherearths_outthere]

Thank you so much for answering.
I appreciate your thoughts, [Bad username or unknown identity: wpadmirer</i] thinks the same. But while I have great boundaries set up elsewhere, especially when it comes to answering the phone, texts are a bit of a weak area.
I gave Grrr some extra pats from you. He’s doing ok and at this point, I don’t need a perfect dog. I just want him to be happy little puppy. I really don’t want to get him an MRI. I just want a way to manage his symptoms.

[popkin16]

Yeah, I'd keep his number (in case of emergencies or something) but just not respond. People like that are very self-centered and are never going to have time for you and your family, in my experience.

[otherearths_outthere]

See. That’s the thing. Both brothers are completely selfish, but ‘M’ is also incredibly arrogant. He once told me that his wife was upset because I ditched her. I remember just twice when I had to cancel plans. First time, I had the period from Hell and I couldn’t get more than 10 feet from the toilet. The next time a year or so later, I had a migraine. My migraines are definitely real —the kind where I am throwing up constantly for two days. I don’t play games, I don’t do drama for drama’s sake. Besides, she *never* never once would come to a holiday party at my parents house. She is beyond selfish and entitled.

*HUFF*
Ok Jennifer, time to calm down and breathe.

Against EVERYONE’s advice, I think I will block him from my contacts. They can always get ahold of Max, or ask my mom for it. After all, the other brother had to call Max because he said that he didn’t have my phone number. Which is either completely untrue, or he blocked me.

PS

[otherearths_outthere]

But thank you for chiming in, I appreciate you so much, you know.

[popkin16]

Oh, I didn't realize he had another way to contact you! I thought his phone number was the only connection you had. Hell yeah, block his ass then. Life is way too short (and currently shitty) to spend any energy on people like that.

[otherearths_outthere]

Yes! Thank you!

“Short and currently shitty”

I like that 😁

[popkin16]

You're welcome :D

Heh, it's only the truth :P

Total stranger chimes in

[nodrog]

I probably shouldn't intrude, but I'm a guy and have brothers also and I see what happened.  Sympathy is sympatheia, feeling the same.  You told him of your up and down.  He replied with his own - sharing both, as you did.  “Venus and Mars” - that was expressing sympathy, literally commiserating with you.

Ask him - he’d agree.  He wasn’t being callous at all!